Most writers love to have a piece that people read over and over and, in general, I am the same way. Having said this, my second most popular blog, which is published on The Scientific Parent website http://thescientificparent.org/, has been reposted and read more often that I ever wanted or would like.
The particular blog is a piece that I wrote for The Scientific Parent at the time of the Lafayette Theatre shooting in July 2015. Almost a year has past and this post has been republished and read so often that it is becoming disconcerting. To me, it emphasizes how often the news is so terrible that we have to worry about its impact on children. We also have to wonder how much to tell children and how much we should try to protect them from seeing or hearing.
I will let you read the piece and use what is useful to you within it, but I want to reflect on some of the times in just this past year when you might have been able to use this little guide on talking to children about terrible events.
Here’s a short list off the top of my head, in no particular order of some of the issues that distressed the youth in my practice, before today’s shootings in Orlando:
- Mass Shootings: There are an average of 1 per day in the United States, all of them get coverage and so young people can always find one where the circumstances relate to their situation.
- The Paris Attacks in November 2015.
- The Refugee Crisis, in Europe especially but also around the world.
- The abduction of girls and women by Boko Haram.
- The Brussels Attack.
- The Attawapiskat Suicide Crisis.
- The Fort McMurray Fires and Evacuation.
- The attacks in Tel Aviv.
I see only adolescents in my practice. Even though they have mental health problems, like all adolescents they want to change the world. In fact, when they begin to feel better, many of my patients have a new found optimism that they will be able to make a difference. When I wrote this piece for The Scientific Parent, I thought about the advice I have given that people told me was most effective. I am pleased that this advice is useful since I want children and youth to be able to see past these tragic events to a better time.
With that in mind, I left out one piece of advice in that article: the advice to share with them the positive aftermaths of people and communities coming together to heal and care for those affected. Fortunately, these are as certain as the tragedies themselves so watch for them and celebrate them with children. Research tells us that to be hopeful and optimistic begets resilience. In this difficult world, we need to help build resilience.